Marriage: Created by God, Not Man

An essay on annulments

When I decide on a topic for a post, I spend hours (and hours) researching and reading, verifying the things I think I know, and addressing my own questions as I learn. “Annulments”, or “Declarations of Nullity”, have not been an exception. I’m fully aware that there will always be those who say, “an annulment is just a ‘Catholic divorce’”, but I hope this post helps to clear up some misconceptions by getting to the root of what marriage is, according to the Catholic Church.

Let’s dive in!

What is marriage?

Unless we understand what marriage is, we cannot understand what a declaration of nullity is. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, marriage is “[t]he matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”¹ Right away, we see that marriage is a lifetime commitment open to life.

In Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI writes that married love is free, total, faithful, and fecund (aka fruitful):

“[Married] love is above all fully human, a compound of sense and spirit. It is not, then, merely a question of natural instinct or emotional drive. It is also, and above all, an act of the free will, whose trust is such that it is meant not only to survive the joys and sorrows of daily life, but also to grow, so that husband and wife become in a way one heart and one soul, and together attain their human fulfillment.

It is a love which is total—that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything, allowing no unreasonable exceptions and not thinking solely of their own convenience. Whoever really loves his partner loves not only for what he receives, but loves that partner for the partner's own sake, content to be able to enrich the other with the gift of himself.

Married love is also faithful and exclusive of all other, and this until death. This is how husband and wife understood it on the day on which, fully aware of what they were doing, they freely vowed themselves to one another in marriage. Though this fidelity of husband and wife sometimes presents difficulties, no one has the right to assert that it is impossible; it is, on the contrary, always honorable and meritorious. The example of countless married couples proves not only that fidelity is in accord with the nature of marriage, but also that it is the source of profound and enduring happiness.

Finally, this love is fecund. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of husband and wife; it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being. ‘Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare.’” - Humanae Vitae, 9

It is important to recognize that God has created “the very institution of marriage, the ends for which it was instituted, the laws that govern it, [and] the blessings that flow from it”.² As Catholics, we recognize that marriage is not a man-made institution. Civil laws cannot change natural law³.

“[T]he marriage of Christians recalls that most perfect union which exists between Christ and the Church”.⁴ We can see this expressed in Ephesians 5:

“Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” - Ephesians 5:21-32, emphasis added

“[T]he Church, which, living with Christ who lives for ever may never be divorced from Him.”⁵ While earthly marriage pales in comparison to the perfect union between Christ and the Church, the nature of marriage is that husband and wife cannot be separated once united.

Valid…or Invalid?

An important piece to be taken into consideration when discussing the topic of annulments is the validity of a marriage, since a declaration of nullity is only granted in the case of an invalid marriage (aka a marriage that never existed). In order for a marriage to be “invalid” in the eyes of God, “lack of capacity, lack of consent, [or] lack of form”⁶ had to be present at the time the vows were exchanged. The couple may have entered the marriage with the intention to be loyal, but one may unfortunately fall into infidelity. This is different than if an individual would get married while actively involved with another man/woman. The latter would indicate that the individual does not have a proper understanding of what marriage is, which is a necessary piece of a valid marriage (see above quote from Humanae Vitae).

Here are some examples of marriages that have grounds for an annulment…

• an arranged/forced marriage (for example, pregnancy out of wedlock leads the parents of one member or both members of the couple to force them to get married)

• one member of the couple has been married previously (and hasn’t received an annulment)

• the couple did not get married in the Church, despite one or both being members of the Catholic Church (unless a dispensation was given)

• one or both members approached marriage with the thought that they could just get a divorce if things don’t work out (this expresses that they don’t understand what marriage is)

• See more examples in this Catholic Answers article.

“Catholicism attaches central value to decisions about marriage: the sacrament occurs when fiancés give and receive mutual consent by exchanging vows. The Church also takes those vows seriously: they’re not pretty poetry, but the real terms of what is to bind these two people ‘until death do us part.’”⁷ God has laws that we must follow. He communicates these through the Catholic Church.

Marriage in the secular world is seen as something for us, but what we believe as Catholics is that marriage is not simply for us. Our vocation is how we are meant to serve God’s kingdom. When someone gets married outside of the Church, there is a lack of understanding of what marriage is. Getting married in the Church communicates that this is something bigger than us. Our wedding day should not focus on what we want. Furthermore, when one member is or both members are Catholic and a dispensation has not been granted to the couple, getting married outside the Church will not result in a sacramental marriage. The sacrament of Matrimony comes with special graces. “‘By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.’ This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they ‘help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.’”⁸ If we enter marriage with the belief that we can somehow do it all on our own, we are wrong. “Jesus has not placed on spouses a burden impossible to bear, or too heavy - heavier than the Law of Moses. By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God.”⁹

If you are now asking the question: “How do I know if any marriage is valid?”, reel yourself back and don’t become scrupulous. As mentioned above, a marriage would be invalid if one of these is present: “lack of capacity, lack of consent, [or] lack of form”. In other words, one or both members would be incapable of marrying, lack understanding of what they are saying “yes” to, or the marriage didn't take place in a Catholic Church (unless a dispensation has been granted). If you have genuine concerns, talk to your Pastor!

Let’s Get Biblical

“Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” - Mark 10:9

If you’ve been to a Catholic wedding, you’ve heard this verse. A valid marriage in the eyes of God cannot be broken with a man-made law. The Catholic Church’s teaching on marriage is in complete harmony with Mark 10:9.

There are two verses in Matthew that may come to mind when discussing the topic of marriage or divorce: Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. The translation of these verses varies among different Bible translations. We will compare the translations of Matthew 5:32 in the NAB and ESV…

“But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” - Matthew 5:32, NAB, emphasis added

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. - Matthew 5:32, ESV, emphasis added

Which of these is correct? Rather than re-hashing this myself, I recommend reading this article by Joe Heschmeyer. He dives into the Greek word (“Porneia”) used in place of the parts of the verse I emphasized above. In the article he says, “At no point in the New Testament does porneia ever mean ‘adultery.’ Porneia refers to fornication, sexual deviancy and possibly idolatry.” He continues on to compare the verses where this Greek term is used throughout the New Testament to build his case. Though the common Protestant position is to see adultery as a valid reason to seek a divorce, this view does not harmonize with scripture, as Jesus condemns divorce elsewhere:

He set out from there and went into the district of Judea [and] across the Jordan. Again crowds gathered around him and, as was his custom, he again taught them. The Pharisees approached and asked, ‘Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?’ They were testing him. He said to them in reply, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They replied, ‘Moses permitted him to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.’ But Jesus told them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” In the house the disciples again questioned him about this. He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’” - Mark 10:1-12

In the Old Covenant, divorce was permitted. In the New Covenant, it is not.

Concluding Thoughts

“[M]atrimony was not instituted or restored by man but by God; not by man were the laws made to strengthen and confirm and elevate it but by God, the Author of nature, and by Christ Our Lord by Whom nature was redeemed, and hence these laws cannot be subject to any human decrees or to any contrary pact even of the spouses themselves. This is the doctrine of Holy Scripture; this is the constant tradition of the Universal Church; this the solemn definition of the sacred Council of Trent, which declares and establishes from the words of Holy Writ itself that God is the Author of the perpetual stability of the marriage bond, its unity and its firmness.” - Casti Connubii, 5

A lawful, or valid, marriage is a binding union that is not dissolved until one spouse passes. God offers the graces necessary to help the spouses live this out. (Casti Connubii, an encyclical by Pope Pius XI, expresses the Church’s teachings on Christian marriage.)

There are a handful of reasons that a marriage may be declared “null”, but one should not become scrupulous on the matter. God knows all and we need to trust in Him.

Even if a marriage is declared to be “null”, this does not mean the relationship between the couple never existed. The breakdown of any relationship is painful, and a declaration of nullity is no exception. This article by Patty Breen titled “An Annulment Isn’t ‘Catholic Divorce’ – I Know Because I Got One” offers the view that the annulment "process exists in the Church out of the great mercy of Jesus.”

The fundamental difference between annulments and divorce is the recognition that man cannot separate what God has joined together (Mark 10:9). Annulments recognize a union that never existed, while a divorce severs a union, regardless of whether it existed or not.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! If you’ve been granted an annulment for a past marriage, please know of my prayers.

1. CCC, 1601

2. Casti Connubii, 9

3. “The ‘divine and natural’ law shows man the way to follow so as to practice the good and attain his end. The natural law states the first and essential precepts which govern the moral life. It hinges upon the desire for God and submission to him, who is the source and judge of all that is good, as well as upon the sense that the other is one's equal. Its principal precepts are expressed in the Decalogue. This law is called ‘natural,’ not in reference to the nature of irrational beings, but because reason which decrees it properly belongs to human nature:

Where then are these rules written, if not in the book of that light we call the truth? In it is written every just law; from it the law passes into the heart of the man who does justice, not that it migrates into it, but that it places its imprint on it, like a seal on a ring that passes onto wax, without leaving the ring. The natural law is nothing other than the light of understanding placed in us by God; through it we know what we must do and what we must avoid. God has given this light or law at the creation.” - Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1955

4. Casti Connubii, 36

5. Casti Connubii, 36

6. What Are Grounds for Annulment? | Catholic Answers Magazine

7. 4 Musts that Make a Catholic Marriage | Catholic Answers Magazine

8. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1641

9. ibid., 1615